How Romance/Erotica Novels Get It Wrong

romance-novel Romance novels and Erotic have become such a popular hit in our society today. There is a lot of controversy and opinions roaming around out there.

So when reading this article please keep this in mind. THIS IS MY OPINION!  sigh.. now that I got that disclaimer put out there let us begin with the ranting.

Romance novels and Erotic are lies. I can understand wanting to get away into a world of fantasy. Heck! Fantasy and fiction novels are my favorite genres! However, I know that they are fiction and unrealistic. They are simply an amazing creation from a brilliant authors imagination.

When we jump into the world of Romance and Erotic we hit a bit more in the ‘realistic’ realm. At least most woman who read them wish that they could be their reality.  When woman read these books they search for a love they don’t have or a sex life they wish they had.

However, the truth is do you really want a fake love like that?

Personally, I have no interest in Romance novels or Erotica. They paint a very unrealistic and unattainable image of love and sex. Love and sex are not perfect, they have flaws, and many of these books portray them as some epic fantasy. Many women have become unsatisfied with their husbands due to the image these books portray. They plant seeds in young readers of what love and sex should be about.

I am 8 1/5 months pregnant with me and my husbands first baby, who happens to be a beautiful little girl. I know and my husband knows that we would never want Marie to read a Romance/Erotica. Now I’m not talking about stories like the notebook people. I’m talking about romance/erotica, just want to get that out there.

I don’t want my daughter to grow up and read these books and think oh so that is what I should expect about love and sex. No! The view of love and sex in society is so disoriented and distorted. Making them seem like an object like they are nothing. Come on people! We know very well that love and sex play a vital role in our lives, and can both be an amazing thing and also be the most damaging.

No matter how hard you may try to disconnect love and sex, or emotions and sex it’s impossible! There will always be a tiny piece of you that becomes attached to the person you have sex with. Sex and love are an intimate thing whether you want it to be or not.

Not only that but not everyone has this epic fantasy of being beaten up and a dirty fantasy. Some of us just want to be treated with respect and loved. It is about being connected to the other person in a way that words can’t describe. Love and sex are meant to draw two people (married..yes I said it..gasp!) closer together. It is a connection that binds them together and makes their relationship stronger.

So for me, romance/erotica get it wrong. That said this genre is just not for me. If you enjoy romance/erotica than go for it! Just realize it’s fiction, and don’t hold it against your partner if they don’t meet that expectation. Romance/Erotica love and sex is not the norm, it is fantasy.

P.S I do not judge anyone, nor do I look down on anyone who reads erotica books, or has different views or opinions than I do.

 

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Britt Books and Tea

nanowrimo pic I know I have an ‘About me’ section. However, I thought it would be nice to give you a bit more background about myself, as well as, set the goals for this blog!

My name is Brittany (if you haven’t figured that one out yet.) I am currently 24 years old. I am enjoying what life has to offer me, and going through many huge life changes!

I am also married to one of the most amazing men I have ever met. Kenney and I got married June 15, 2013, and our 4 year wedding anniversary is in just a few weeks! I can’t believe he has dealt with my hyperactive nature this long! Ha. He has been my best friend and someone who has always believed in me, even when I don’t believe in myself.
17353253_10212740637251140_3429252089959528398_nFor those of you who are married, you know how much hard work goes into being married, it’s something you have to constantly work at and give attention to.

There is a saying I like, Marriage is like a box, you each put things in the box and each takes things out of the box. However, when you take from the box make sure you put something else in. Otherwise, you will find the box is empty. You each have a role to play, putting things into the marriage and taking things out.

The first few years of marriage were rough, we were still getting used to being married! Not only were we individuals but we were also a pair! I’d say that the past year has been our greatest so far. We have learned so much, and we have really become a team. Of course, we have our ups and downs that will never stop, but the outlook on situations and life is so much different.

One of the big changes in our lives was when we found out in October of 2016 that we were going to be expecting our first baby in July 2017! Yes folks, this July! In March of 2017, we found out that we were expecting a beautiful baby girl! Kenney was thrilled he wanted a girl so bad lol.

17436232_10208565669684487_7876609204974310977_oNow we are simply waiting for her arrival into this world! With becoming parent’s comes new changes and new responsibilities.

With those changes I am learning what my new role will be, and how I can make that happen. You see I want to be a stay at home mom, but I also still want to pursue my passions.

Kenney and I have been working very hard to make a life for our future baby girl. We have become health and fitness coaches at a gym we go to called Transformation fitness. We have also become independent distributors for Herbalife. Herbalife is a fitness company that provides healthy meals, shakes, snacks, supplements for athletes. My husband managed to lose 41lbs so far and now is getting those sexy muscles and abs! woo! I’m pregnant, so no weight loss for me yet. Ha! However, I can say I have only gained 10lbs since being pregnant wich is fantastic! We love being a part of this community and helping change people’s lives and meet their goals!

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Now onto the part that pertains to this blog!

Growing up I have always been an artist, a journaler, a reader and a writer. They are my passions. When I was a teenager I participated in a Christian Fine Arts competition every year. My first year I made it to nationals with a poem I wrote and all the years after up until I was 18 I made it to nationals with my artwork. I have always found joy in the arts of all kinds.11728804_10207417724221641_4006926872398740119_o Most of the time you could catch me with my face in a book, or pen to paper.

Most of the time you could catch me with my face in a book, or pen to paper.

I love writing stories, documenting my own stories, reading other people’s stories.

Which brings me to the goal of this blog!

I want Britt Books and Tea to be a place that I can review books I have read, share my enthusiasm as I discover new books I love, even share a bit of my writing journey as well. I want this blog to be a comforting place, cozy and warm. I love cuddling up in a comfy place with a book in hand and a cup of hot tea in the other. This will blog will be my journey, my thoughts, my inspirations, and a place to build a community that loves the same!

If you are still reading this then WOO! Congratulations you got through all that rambling on about myself. Thank you for hanging in there. lol Just for the fun of it, if you made it this far then you should post an emoji that comes to mind when you read this in the comments below, or you can share this post on Twitter, and tag me in it! I would love to follow you and get to know you as well!

Thank you again for all your support, I look forward to this journey with you!

Love

Britt

Letter to My Young Adult Self

So I read a blog post by @bookaddictguide on Twitter. She did a blog post to her YA (young adult) self. I thought this was a really great idea and wanted to do it myself. However, please check out her original blog post The Book Addicts Guide Blog Post and follow her on Twitter @bookaddictguide

 

Dear Teenage Brittany,

There are so many things I want to tell you, to show you. I want to wrap you in my arms and let you know through it all your gonna make it to the other side. I can’t promise that there won’t be more rough patches or hard times because that would be a lie. However, I can promise you that you will find happiness, love, and family. I wish I could hold you and wipe the tears and hurt from your eyes. You have been through so much your whole life, things no child and no teenager should ever have to face. However, you know you are not alone, deep down you know this. Hold on to the hope that you have been given, don’t let it fade because it will get you through the most difficult times in life and even allow you to be there for others who need you.

I know you feel like everything that happens is your fault, or that those you love seem to die around you. I can’t promise that will stop, it won’t, but it’s not your fault! Stop telling yourself everything is your fault, it’s not! People get sick, things happen, this is a sick and dying world. There are people going through worse than you, so be grateful for the family and friends that you have.

As for boys. Forget em. I don’t mean give up on liking boys I simply mean stop worrying about being alone forever, and not finding ‘the one.’ You are going to make mistakes in that department, you are going to get attached to the wrong one’s and think something is wrong with you. Don’t worry about it, you will find ‘the one’ and he will come out of nowhere! Trust me when I tell you, you will not expect it, but you will learn quickly that it was always meant to be and God had a plan for your life the whole time.

Your marriage will be rough at first, just like most marriages. You both will make mistakes, but that’s ok your learning about each other and learning how to love and live with one another. Just be patient, it takes awhile for him to adjust to your level of hyperactive craziness *laughs*. Trust me, it get’s so much better! You even fall in love with him all over again, when you find out that you’re going to be parents! Seeing him form into a father will be something to behold. He will be such a good daddy! I don’t want to give away the surprise of what you will have because that’s half the fun!

Never stop reading and writing! Just don’t! Books helped you escape a lot of things in the past. You were able to go to another world and be a different person. One day that will evolve and you will be the one helping others to escape into the world you have created. You will read and help authors to grow and expand. Your creativity is everything never take it for granted.

Your artwork will never stop being important to you. You will draw, paint, sculpt, and do so many things you never thought possible! You will learn that art is more than just a passion but a gift that you have to give others. Don’t be a snob, and don’t compare your work to others. You are your own individual and you have your own style that is ever growing. However, this doesn’t mean stop learning! Learn from others styles and works, it will help you to grow into the artist you are meant to be.

Finally, love! Never stop loving. Love yourself first and foremost. Love God and give him everything because he will give everything in return., Love your family both blood and non-blooded family because you will find the ones that will never leave your side. Love those that don’t deserve it, that have done you wrong, love them anyways because God loves them. You don’t want to be a hypocrite, do you? no. So just love, you have such a big caring heart for people. Use it! Yes when you love, sometimes your love is taken for granted, abused and sometimes ignored. Don’t stop loving people. This world needs love!ove you always,

Love you always,

Your Future Self